July 17 2021 - the PhDs in the Darwin Awards

 

I found a number of Darwin Award "Survivors" or "Members" with PhDs.  That is absolutely ironic as Doctor of Philosophy means "love of wisdom" from the original Greek.  Consider that 50% of PhDs have faculty positions so are in charge of creating intelligence and wisdom in the next generation.  So irony seems appropriate for people with PhDs carrying out activities that result in Darwin Awards. Darwin Awards are a tongue-in-cheek honour, so the stories are written humorously. Each story has a catchy headline/name to identify it. There is a 2006 comedy film, The Darwin Awards, written and directed by Finn Taylor.  It was based on the website and many of the Darwin Awards stories. I do think that the story below would be an excellent candidate for a movie - The Crazy Darwin-bound Professor.  This one is an unconfirmed entry.  This is the World's Best At-Risk Survivor. Let an amused daughter tell you about her sire. (2009) This weekend was the final straw. Being an extremely cost-conscious person, Dad decided that putting half a can of varnish in the toaster oven to liquefy it was the cheapest approach. You guessed it--the stuff caught fire! I found him in front of the flaming oven contemplating picking up the can with his bare hands. Two-foot flames were shooting out of it, causing me to utter a line spoken far too many times in our house: <I>"What in God's name were you thinking?"</I> Father's attempts at Darwin Fame have included: 1) Tipping a small boat on Cayuga Lake while fishing, almost drowning my brother and himself. At the time, I thought Mom was being too hard on him when she said it was his own fault that he was in the hospital. I have since revised my judgment. 2) Removing a branch from a locust tree by climbing a ladder with a running chainsaw. The branch was not tied off properly, so it fell onto a shed roof that he was trying to avoid. 3) Rolling a lawn tractor on top of himself by mowing a roadside ditch at a steep angle, resulting in a broken rib--and poison ivy for me, because I spent ten minutes thrashing around in the vegetation while we tried to roll the tractor off Dad. Again. 4) Fourth but not last, lighting a fire in a basement trash burner that was not connected to an exhaust pipe. The fire department loves us. 5) Wandering off to watch the evening news after starting some water to boil in an aluminum dutch oven. Note that the Merck Index lists the melting point of aluminum as 660 degrees C. When Mom discovered the situation, the pot walls were glowing bright red, the bottom was melted out, and the kitchen wall was smoking. 6) Testing the efficacy of old Nitroglycerin tablets by swallowing three at once to see if they still worked. I did say he was cheap, er, cost conscious. The EMS came to the rescue because his blood pressure had dropped to an undesirable level and he was passed out at the kitchen table. Mere minutes before, he was planning a drive to the donut shop. Thank God he didn't make it to the car before his blood pressure dropped! He may not yet have used up nine lives, but my father, the PhD, appears to have a running start on Darwin infamy. Taken from the Darwin Awards here:  https://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2009-14.html About the Author Could there be more from his daughter?   I found her identify on a repeat of the entry on another site:  (Thank Stephanie Schaaf for sharing her eccentric father with us.) I subsequently found Stephanie at Cornell University in Ithaca.  This makes sense as Cayuga Lake is one of the Finger Lakes in upper New York State.  Sadly, I found both her and her father's obituaries.  Her father was Herbert M. Schaaf.  Of course, there is no mention of his escapades or of Stephanie's coverage of them. Today's image comes from Brian's garden in Toronto.  It is filled with Day Lilies, and this is one of his own hybrids.

 

I saw dill pickle cucumbers at one of the vegetable and fruit stands on the weekend.   We mostly pickle vegetables - and really, cucumbers for dill and sweet pickles in North America.  But there is a long list of fruits and vegetables that are pickled in every country. I decided, though, that most people don't have my fascination for pickles, chutneys, relishes and salsas.   What did I decide we are all interested in?  The recent story of the lobster diver in Cape Cod having a Jonah experience - that is compelling.   I find out that a Jonah experience is considered only possible with a sperm whale as it is the only whale that can possibly swallow a human.  The Cape Cod story involved a humpback whale, which cannot swallow a human.  The only other story of this sort was that of James Bartley (1870-1909) being swallowed by a whale near the Falklands - and was in its stomach for 3 days.  However, while this story has been much repeated, it was never proven. Moreover,  the wife of the ship's captain who travelled on the ship at that time said it was false.  Our recent story was verified by Michael Packard's partner: "A commercial lobster diver says he escaped relatively unscathed after nearly being swallowed by a humpback whale, in a biblical-sounding encounter that whale experts describe as rare but plausible.  Michael Packard, 56, said in local interviews and on social media that he was diving off the coast of Provincetown, Mass., on Friday morning when the whale suddenly scooped him up. "I was in his closed mouth for about 30 to 40 seconds before he rose to the surface and spit me out," Packard later wrote on Facebook. "I am very bruised up but have no broken bones." More about the story HERE. And if whales don't swallow people, and people don't survive being swallowed by whales, what is the Biblical story of Jonah, really?  Check out the Wikipedia entry - everyone weighed in on Jonah and the symbolism of his 'giant fish' adventure. A Daylily flower is particularly beautiful because of its little slippers. They are bluish-brown so I"ve given them some colour treatment to make them such a shiny blue colour.   Purchase at: FAA - marilyncornwellart.com Redbubble - marilyncornwellart.ca

Cold Turkey

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes ... ... but I told them I couldn't quit "cold turkey.” Did you know?  "The country Turkey holds 80 Guinness World Records spanning from historically producing the first coin, the oldest bridge, the first female pilot and even being the first pirates. Now, Turkey continues to top the list with the tallest man, the largest nose and of course, being the largest bread consumers". One of its records is floating the largest peace symbol in the Marmara Sea - made of people.  What about building the world's largest animated mobile phone mosaic with 504 phones creating the world's largest mosaic wall - 3.6 meters wide and 1.9 meters long.  The tallest man alive is 8 feet 2.81 inches and from Turkey.  They also have the tallest female teenage at 7 feet 0.09 inches.  They have the records for the largest serving of pastry, for the largest full breakfast where 51,793 participants were involved.  They hold the record for the world's largest zebeck dance and largest pilates demonstration/class.  And on and on. See more on their records HERE.  Since we are on the topic of Turkey the country, here are some bizarre facts about it: It has one of the world's oldest and biggest malls You might find chicken in your dessert Santa Claus is from Turkey   You can cross continents underground Oil wrestling is a national sport Our pictures today are close-ups of day lilies, with a little photoshop magic applied to the stamens.

A Single Flower

A single flower on display showcases its colour, form and textures.  This day lily as in the garden of Brian Schram who hybridizes day lilies.