Dec 8 2020 - The Christmas Risk Assessment

 

There must be a lot of etiquette rules for Christmas, if thank you cards had that many rules yesterday.   What are the most important rules, given there are so many?  I guess this is a risk mitigation moment. Rather than fulfill all the rules, go after the critical ones. My attention got drawn to Regifting.  There's an ad for something on the radio and it is sung to the tune of Unforgettable (Nat King Cole) with Unregiftable the replaced word.  This regifting scenario from the Spruce seems to capture the spirit of Christmas risk: If someone gives you something you can't use or don't care for, it's okay to regift it later, as long as you don't give it back to the original person. To prevent this from happening, attach a note with the original giver's name. I went in search of risk mitigation at Christmas and found this satiric entry  from Barry Spud (2013) in Safetyrisk:   "All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.  Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered.  To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.  Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night.  While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.  The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.  Following last year’s well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages.  It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions. Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly. Enjoy the holiday season!" Here's one of my favourite Christmas images - one of Lilycrest Gardens lilies, made a little red for the seasonal colours.

Glittering, Glittering!

Do you know about glitter?   I read the New York Times article in December 2018 explaining what glitter is and I still am perplexed by it. It is all over the floor of the Museum, the result of many trees of decorations.  There will be more as the trees are taken down tomorrow and Wednesday.  I quote the second paragraph of that entertaining NY Times article HERE to give you a sense of its presence in our lives today. "Aluminum metalized polyethylene terephthalate settles over store windows like dazzling frost. It flashes like hot, molten gold across the nail plates of young women. It sparkles like pure precision-cut starlight on an ornament of a North American brown bear driving a car towing a camper van. Indeed, in Clement Clarke Moore’s seminal Christmas Eve poem, the eyes of Saint Nicholas himself are said to twinkle like aluminum metalized polyethylene terephthalate (I’m paraphrasing). In homes and malls and schools and synagogues and banks and hospitals and fire stations and hardware stores and breweries and car dealerships, and every kind of office — and outside those places, too — it shines. It glitters. It is glitter." I hope you hop over and read about this strange and amazing substance that is now completely part of Christmas.  I found a joke to brighten up our Monday morning:   I saw on the news that a truck carrying almonds collided with another truck carrying glitter. Apparently the road was covered with with almonds and glitter. And I thought, "That's pretty nuts" This 'field' of red Gerbera's makes a nice December picture.

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