Something remains constant. We still 'turn the page' when we read digital books.
But on social media, we can scroll and scroll. During the pandemic, the summer of Black Lives Matter and the American election, it has been called 'doomscrolling'.
That seems to sum up our figurative meaning for social media's value. It is the opposite of the figurative meaning of turn the page - to move on to new involvements or activities, to make a fresh start.
So we literally and figuratively turn the page on a new month tomorrow as we move into February - the month of chocolates and Valentines. We get to leave Trump doomscrolling behind. I'm not sure about the Pandemic, though.
Let's get out the great 'turn the page' joke. It goes by a few different titles because it is so good. Here it is.
A prominent orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. At one point in the final movement of the symphony, there is a long stretch--over 20 minutes--where the bass violins don't play a note. So, rather than just sit there, the section leader suggested that they sneak out of the orchestra and go across the street to the tavern. The other bass players agreed that this was a splendid idea, and a few minutes later, the basses were in the bar, knocking back drinks at a prodigious rate.
This went on for some time, with all the bass players becoming rather inebriated. One of them happened to look down at his watch and exclaimed, "We'd better get back to our seats or we're going to miss our cue!"
"Relax," said the section leader, "I've got it all taken care of. You see, before the performance started tonight I anticipated this problem, so I took a piece of string and I tied the conductor's score shut. He won't be able to turn the pages when he gets to that part. He'll have to stop the orchestra for a few minutes so he can get it untied. We'll have plenty of time!"
The other bass players praised his inventiveness with one final round of drinks. Then they made there way back across the street to the concert hall, and staggered drunkenly to their seats.
Sure enough, about this time the conductor started to have trouble with his score. He tried to fidget with it, hoping he could solve the problem without having to stop the performance. Unfortunately, he couldn't get the pages to turn, and at last he had to stop the orchestra and spend a few minutes untying the string that held the last section of the score bound. The conductor was clearly annoyed and not a little frazzled.
This, of course, did not go unnoticed by the audience. One woman in the crowd remarked to her husband, "That conductor looks upset and rather nervous." "Of course he's nervous," the husband replied. "It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded."
Trump's impeachment trial is beginning and American political behaviour is on display. It seems that the U.S. is special in its partisanship and belligerence.
So I went looking for some jokes to distract me and found an excellent joke for January and 2020:
When it gets to January, I’m going to overthrow the Government! It’ll be my new year’s Revolution.
There is a promise that this year will be completely filled with vision and optometry jokes. Here they are:
The first thing I’m gonna say on January 1, 2021 is... Hindsight is 2020.
Finally got round to booking my laser eye surgery for the 1st January Can't wait to have 2020 vision.
My friend asked me where I see myself in the new year. How would I know? I don't have 2020 vision.
So in this year of unlimited vision and optometry jokes, I seem to have reached the end of them on January 22nd. So we'll carry on with the January theme.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th... Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you.
My computer is in for repair needing a hard disk replacement. So our images are coming from the Mailchimp archives. This building in disrepair was in Cuba - a stark contrast to all those beautiful beach resorts.
