Aug 25 2023 - How to be polite

 

What can we do this weekend to increase the politeness quotient in our neighbourhood, town or city?  What might we do before September to give Fall a good start?   Something simple like politeness? It seems simple - behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people.  It turns out that I only thought polite was straightforward - say hello and smile at people, don't use rude language in public, take your place in line, let the other driver change lanes in front of you.   But as I checked out the various lists of what comprises polite behaviour, I was surprised.  There were It so many characteristics gathered together that one would be a saint in order to fulfill all the polite behaviours.  Dailymeal.com's  first rule of etiquette is to Always be polite and kind - practice it at all times.  It says: "You can't be courteous, polite, and kind toward some people and not others. It could very easily lead to a reputation of being two-faced, which is the exact opposite of your goal"  Here are a few more: Be on time Learn how to use small talk Listen Use names Learn how to do introductions properly Stop oversharing Think about your humour Quit cursing Avoid gossip Give compliments...and so on It is things like  "stop oversharing" and "avoid gossip" or ", that move beyond politeness.  So then what?  How do we know what politeness is?   Wikipedia has the word on this - it is called politeness theory: "Politeness theory, proposed by Penelope Brown and Stephen C. Levinson, centers on the notion of politeness, construed as efforts on redressing the affronts to a person's self-esteems or effectively claiming positive social values in social interactions. Such self-esteem is referred as the sociological concept of face (as in "save face" or "lose face") to discuss politeness as a response to mitigate or avoid face-threatening acts such as requests or insults."    It is described HERE in Wikipedia.   It explains to me there may no longer be norms for politeness, as we are not longer have homogeneous societies.  So likely these lists are from long ago and dressed up for today.  I'm going to stick with the simple idea of "say hello and smile".  That's it. I found this at a garden club meeting a few years ago.

I think this Flexifly image looks like "the eyes of technology" staring at us.

Apr 16 2023 - Snubbed from the List

 

I guess if we have problems working out a wedding invitation list, then we couldn't expect the Royals to work out a Coronation invitation list.  Those who have not been invited and those who have been and have declined.  I haven't found a comprehensive list with the ins and the outs.  2,000 guests have been invited.  That is said to be slightly under the capacity of Westminster Abbey.   How many were invited to Queen Elizabeth's - - 8,000 guests attended (another article says that 5,000 attended).  There was special scaffolding set up to accommodate so many people.  That makes this coronation a much reduced version.  I wonder why that is. The report says Charles is looking to keep the palace budget as low as possible.   I would like to weigh in that this is NOT the occasion to be concerned about budget - this is a once in a life time.  I wonder if he realized that he will get crowned only once.   The dilemma of how big the royal family circle is now makes everything intense:  "What’s causing even more stress is that the invitations are being sent out in a two-stage process: a save-the-date email and then a paper invitation via snail mail. The recipients will have to acknowledge the email before they get that coveted invitation with the source calling it “a practical arrangement” for the palace. We at least know that Harry and Meghan have passed the first stage with flying colors, but it’s unknown whether they will choose to be in attendance for Charles’ big day." How "excruciating" the wait would be in March - finding out whether one was accepted or snubbed - that moment of whether one is "truly a part of the royal family's inner circle."   Who is out?  ... Fergie did not get invited to the coronation.  Her former and disgraced husband Andrew is expected to go. Here's her story on coronation day. "The Duchess of York previously acknowledged that she likely would not be asked to attend the event because she is no longer with her ex-husband, Prince Andrew. However, she still plans on celebrating the big day. “I personally will be having a little tea room and coronation chicken sandwich and putting out the bunting,” she said on ITV’s “Loose Women.”   So our weeping cherry tree was blossoming yesterday in Niagara and I took Millie to the park and got a few pictures of her.  She seems to have two expressions - a grumpy accusing look straight at me, and a noble look into the distance.  She's in the blooming blue Scillas.   Read more daily posts here: marilyncornwellblogspot.com Purchase works here: Fine Art America- marilyncornwell.com Redbubble - marilyncornwellart.ca