Dec 4 2022 - Looking for a Joke Library

 

There are always lots of jokes on the internet.  And yet there doesn't appear to be a joke museum, joke library, or a physical joke archives.  I found one library collection so far - the Schmulowitz Collection of Wit & Humor (SCOWAH). It was founded in 1947 by library commissioner, lawyer, author, civic leader, and book collector Nat Schmulowitz (1889-1966).  The collection comprises a wide range of wit and humor spanning more than 450 years and in thirty-nine languages: joke books, international fairy tales and folklore, proverbs, national and ethnic humor, anecdotes, cartoons and comic books, political satire, biography, humorous essays, monologues, plays and novels, popular entertainments, movable books, and literary, historical and popular culture studies.   It is in the San Francisco Public Library. It got me thinking about how to classify the subject contents - I see categories like "the difference between" jokes.  I like these: What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?  One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?  One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?  One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause. There are so many types.  There are puns, practical jokes, funny observations, question and answer jokes, and so many more.   Wikipedia says that happenstance rather than design is what has preserved jokes.  The reason?  They do not "belong to refined culture."  I guess that's why  the Library of Congress doesn't seem to have a joke collection, or to put it more refined, a collection on the subject of jokes.  The Library of Congress does have Bob Hope's massive Joke file, - very famous. That's what I found so far.  My conclusion is that we just can't seem to take jokes seriously.   Here's the one I found amusing today:  Why do seagulls fly over the sea?  Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.   Does this picture have a joke sensibility?  Pinterest says there are pictures that are jokes without words.  I'll have to check them out.  Read more daily posts here: marilyncornwellblog.com Purchase works here: Fine Art America- marilyncornwellart.com Redbubble - marilyncornwellart.ca

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Nov 20 2022 - Thanksgiving Ahead for Americans

 

It is time to look ahead a week to imagine Buffalo's Thanksgiving under six feet of snow.  There is only one holiday a year where Canadians can be smug, so it is time to experience this fully.     While there were towns on the Canadian side that had lots of snow this weekend, there's a sturdiness that has been built up over time.   And what might we expect for Canadian sports with that kind of accumulation? Here's one that might be found in the Ikea parking lot.  What a nice contrast to see a railroad layout. Read more daily posts here: marilyncornwellblog.com Purchase works here: Fine Art America- marilyncornwellart.com Redbubble - marilyncornwellart.ca

Jan 22 2022 - Funny ha ha vs Funny weird

 

I decided to look for a funny story.  This is in response to the many bad stories that flood the news. I found out how much was written about the Republican snowflake slur.  More recently, you can read all kinds of analysis about "Let's go, Branden".  It was a former police officer, Jared Schmeck, who insulted Joe Biden on December 26th on a livestream telephone call with the offending catchphrase  "Let's go, Brandon."  I find out this is a far-right code phrase for " Fuck Joe Biden."  It is being perpetrated everywhere as a subversive media campaign.  It is being discussed now as seditious rather than insulting.  You can read about the origins from CNN HERE along with CNN opinion, or a less opinionated but equally critical expose HERE.  There is a humorous moment in all of this:  CNN referred to Trump supporters as Trumpanzees. So let's make it intentional to find funny news every few days.   I have to be more careful - funny can go two ways.  This is a weird funny story, but fascinating nonetheless. A woman who lost part of her tongue after a battle with cancer had a new one made out of part of her leg - only for it to start growing hair.  "They usually take skin from your forearm, but I’m only five foot two, so I didn’t have enough skin on my forearm to replace what I was having removed."   Cameron has learned to use her new tongue properly, although speaking, eating and even tasting are completely different.  She said: "I had to teach myself how to speak again after the radiation therapy which was a really bizarre feeling.  I can only taste on the right side of my tongue which is the real side, and only chew on the right side because the left is attached to my gums.  My manners are terrible because food sometimes just falls out my mouth, and when food gets stuck underneath my tongue it feels like having a small rock in your shoe." We would never guess all the  after-effects of skin graft surgery. This is a topic all its own.   Here are two pictures from the great train ride on the Rio Grande 215.

Read more daily posts here: marilyncornwellblog.com Purchase works here: Fine Art America- marilyncornwellart.com Redbubble - marilyncornwellart.ca

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July 29 2021 - Doggone Good Story

 

Our story of the day: Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.  Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, 'If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?'  The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, 'Okay.' The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables.  He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech  mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, ‘'You have exactly 1,586 sheep.' The shepherd cheers,  "That's correct, you can have your choicest sheep from the herd".  'The young man takes one of the animals which he likes most from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche.  The shepherd looks at him and asks, 'If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?'  The young man laughed and answers, 'Yes, why not?'  The shepherd says, 'You are an auditor.' 'How did you know?' asks the young man.  'Very simple,' answers the shepherd. " First, you came here without being wanted.  Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.  Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business..... Now can I have my DOG back? " Have you been to Brookfield Place in Toronto?  At the ground level is the soaring Allen Lambert Galleria, sometimes described as the "crystal cathedral of commerce." For me it is a modern cathedral dedicated to Jonah and the Whale.  There are glass panels on the floor, and in the food court below, this is the view of the walkers above - shadow walkers to me.  I've overlaid it with a peeling paint image in the first case, and transformed it with Flaming Pear's Flexifly in the second.

Dec 24 2020 - Yule Logs

 

I don't remember covering the tradition of the Yule Log.  About 6 years ago, I put together a garden presentation on Christmas - Christmas trees, Poinsettias, Christmas displays such as Longwood with their trees made of succulents and herbs, and their lights making stars in the sky.  There are botanical displays at Niagara Falls Greenhouse, Toronto's Centennial Greenhouses and Allan Gardens - they all have topiary Christmas displays.   But I hadn't considered the Yule Log to be a garden topic.  The traditional log is meant to come from the forest - cut down a sizeable oak trunk/log so that it burns for so many days preceding Christmas. Another version has a portion of the log being burnt each evening up till Christmas (more practical). Considered a Germanic pagan tradition,  it is an emblem of divine light and is meant to absorb all the bad and negative things so that when it is burned, they are dissolved.  In some cultures, there is a tradition of dragging the Yule Log from house to house and absorbing the whole town's negativity.   It has somehow evolved into a French cake - Buche de Noel.  Cut one end of the log off and place it on top of the cake, along with other adornments - sleighs, trees, and so on.  Maybe make a chocolate pine cone or little marzipan mushrooms.  Given the ganache and buttercream fillings, it makes me think of this Christmas thought:   When what to my wondering eyes should appear... but ten extra pounds on hips, thighs and rear. And here's a cartoon I found that combines the Yule log and the Christmas letter.   This is one of my favourite holiday cards - Floyd Elzinga work with some stars added.  His tree trunks definitely would make great Yule Logs. Purchase at: FAA - marilyncornwellart.com Redbubble - marilyncornwellart.ca

Comparisons and Analogies

I was wondering about the stages of old age.  That seems a bit depressing.  Instead, here is something called 3 stupid stages of life: Teen age: Have Time + Energy ... but No Money Working age: Have Money + Energy ... but No Time Old age: Have Time + Money ... but No Energy Here's a funny one by Theodore Roosevelt: Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young  Are there other funny comparisons like this?  I found The 25 Funniest Analogies - winning entries in a 1999 Washington Post humour contest.  Here's the blog to see them all - by Judy Rose on Writing English.  Here are a few: His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. Today's images of hearts are based on abstract images that have been interpreted in Flaming Pear's various filters.

Funny News of the Day

November is the time of year when we Canadians  need cheering up.  The days darken, winds blow, and we 'worry' about our first snowfall.  That's not the case in the U.S. as Thanksgiving is around the corner and there's a mad dash to get ready and then celebrate. So for us Canadians I looked up 'funny news' and got this headline: "Thieves steal a car with a child inside...so they drop him off at school" The other headlines come under the searching, stretching, and weird: "Hungry Gater Crashes Florida Picnic" "Couple Searches for Missing 200-Pound Tortoise" "Watch Otto the Bulldog Set Skateboard World Record" "A Tapework with Cancer Gave Its Tumors to Someone" "Ferocious Crocodiles to Guard Prison for Drug Convicts" Here's a triptych in the Sabi Story series.  A bit or urban grunge found in Toronto earlier in the year.