May 1 2024 - Universities vs Corporations

 

Can a student be suspended from a University for protesting?  That question came up in my mind yesterday as I read the articles on the protests across the U.S. and Canada.  But then I realized how complicated this research would be, so I have turned my attention to the Merry Month of May.   Joke of the Day:  A roman walks into a cafe holds up 2 fingers and gets 5 coffees.   Joke of the Day for Work:  Someone has stolen my Microsoft Office and they are going to pay for it... You have my Word.  Joke of the Day for the elderly:   An old man and a 20 year old are paired together at a golf tournament. They’re playing a long par 5 that dog legs around some tall trees. As the 20 year old sets up his tee shot to hit onto the fairway the old man notes “when I was your age we used to hit over the trees - not around to the side.” So the 20 year old readjusts and tries to hit over the trees - but can’t clear them and loses his ball. He tries again and loses that one too… Then the old man says “of course, when I was your age, the trees were only 6 foot tall.” Joke of the Day for elementary schoolers:   Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.   Isn't this amazing?  I found this yesterday on Martin Street in Vineland.  This is the best ever combination of blossoms on the trees and on the ground.

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July 17 2022 - No Joke!

 

When is a joke not funny?  They are always supposed to be funny.  But then there are  anti-jokes.  The premise is that punchlines so mundane that you laugh anyway. Other definitions say this:  Anti-jokes or anti-humor is about giving the unexpected. It stumps the person listening. Read the best anti-jokes that are unfunny but funny. Rather than having a punchline, anti-jokes make you laugh because you don’t expect them. Another definition says: Anti jokes are so stupid they are actually funny. They turn humor on its head!  Here are some of the best anti jokes with a hilarious (and unexpected) punchline: What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence. What did one stranger say to the other? Nothing. Quora's definition?  "An anti-joke is a joke that is funny through its subversion. It comes in many forms." It is time for a trip to Wikipedia's   "Anti-humour" entry - not to be confused with deadpan humour.   It is indirect and alternative humour that involves the joke-teller's delivering something that is intentionally not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The practice relies on the expectation on the part of the audience of something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value. Anti-humor is also the basis of various types of pranks and hoaxes. Here are some examples of what shows up as anti-humour: A man walks into a bar. “Ouch.” What did one Frenchman say to the other? I have no idea; I don’t speak French. A horse walks into a bar. Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation. What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor? “Where’s my tractor?” What did Buzz Lightyear say to Woody? A lot. There were three movies, and a couple of short films too.   What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint’. What is brown and sticky? A stick.

There were a lot of hydrangeas on the garden tour in Grimsby yesterday.  We are very lucky to have perfect conditions for them.   Read more daily posts here: marilyncornwellblog.com Purchase works here: Fine Art America- marilyncornwellart.com Redbubble - marilyncornwellart.ca

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April 11 - All's Well that ends well

 

The oldest English surname on record is Hatt, from East Anglia  It was mentioned in a Norman Transcript, identified as a pretty regular name in the county.  Hwita Hatt was a keeper of bees. The oldest surname in the world is claimed to be Katz - considered the initial of the two words Kohen Tsedek.  Every Katz is a priest, descending in an unbroken line from Aaron the brother of Moses, 1300 B.C..  This comes from Ripley's Believe it or not, and has no evidence.  It does seem more of a mythical sort of story. What if all the English names ending in "well" were related?   "Well - This surname suffix or word well has an English origin. It refers to a good or proper manner, affluent, satisfactory, and comfortable. Well can also mean a deep hole, that can bring water and therefore, life. The suffix is gender neutral. It can be either male or female or neither. Some of the examples of the suffix well are: Atwell, Baswell, Blackwell, Caldwell, Cromwell, Crowell, Honeywell, Hopewell, Howell, Maxwell, Newell, Powell, Rockwell, Stilwell, Stockwell, Whitwell and there are many others." Perhaps in a manner of understanding, they are all related. Here's the website -  Surname Prefixes and Suffixes.  So many interesting stories.  Let us continue on  our Canadian vs American view of things through the lens of jokes: An avid Canadian fisherman decides to cross the Peace Bridge and go over to Lewiston and fish the American side of the Niagara river. He settles down on a quiet dock and begins to fill his bucket with some nice fish when an American game warden approaches him. "Could I see your fishing licence please?".  When he hands him his licence,the game warden laughs and says that it is no good because it is a Canadian fishing licence. At this point the fisherman replies "but I'm only catching Canadian fish". The warden scratches his head for a moment and says "what do you mean?"  The fisherman reaches in his bucket and pulls out a fish and asks the warden "what kind of fish is that?". The warden looks and says its a small mouth bass, to which the fisherman replies, "See what I mean, if it was an American fish it would be a Large mouth bass." This sculpture is in Burlington on the harbour.  The last few years, the Latow Photography seminar has been online.  Previously it was at the Burlington Art Gallery, and lunch time was a walk along the waterfront where children were playing and kites were flying.

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July 29 2021 - Doggone Good Story

 

Our story of the day: Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.  Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, 'If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?'  The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, 'Okay.' The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables.  He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech  mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, ‘'You have exactly 1,586 sheep.' The shepherd cheers,  "That's correct, you can have your choicest sheep from the herd".  'The young man takes one of the animals which he likes most from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche.  The shepherd looks at him and asks, 'If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?'  The young man laughed and answers, 'Yes, why not?'  The shepherd says, 'You are an auditor.' 'How did you know?' asks the young man.  'Very simple,' answers the shepherd. " First, you came here without being wanted.  Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.  Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business..... Now can I have my DOG back? " Have you been to Brookfield Place in Toronto?  At the ground level is the soaring Allen Lambert Galleria, sometimes described as the "crystal cathedral of commerce." For me it is a modern cathedral dedicated to Jonah and the Whale.  There are glass panels on the floor, and in the food court below, this is the view of the walkers above - shadow walkers to me.  I've overlaid it with a peeling paint image in the first case, and transformed it with Flaming Pear's Flexifly in the second.